Just me:

This one is simple.  Seeing your friend knows the word, approach them with the word.  If they consider you, "Holier than thou" as long as you used the word...you will be just fine.

Now if your friend thinking that you are HTT bothers you then you actually have another issue.

If my friend told me that she or he wanted to die, and I believe that my friend meant it….I am sorry but I would not be worrying about if my friend will consider me holier than thou etc.  I would pull all the strings that I can to let my friend know that I need her/him in my life, and why life is important.  I would tell my friend that there is no repentance in the grave, so killing of one self will not profit anyone.  I would go all out, and last but not least, I would MAKE my friend seek help.

I treasure my friends way too much to be concerned about him or her thinking that I am holier than thou.  Also, I would not be worrying about the family and friends of that person who would be affected…at this point my only concern is my friend.

Petra is on point with her response. If this person is suicidal and they have a plan of where, when and how they want to end their life, then that is a tell tale sign they are serious. If they don't have details worked out, your "friend" may be depressed and not seeing their way out of whatever situations are happening in their life right now. To add on to what Petra said, after finding out all the info you can and helping them recognize positive relationships and things that make them happy, using the word to encourage... contract with them. This is very important, not only for you as a friend to make sure they are safe, but also for your friend so that they feel there is a way out if the suicidal feelings become more intense. Contracting takes time and as a friend, you will have to be available to that person when they need you.

So basically, contracting is a promise made by the suicidal individual that they will not attempt to or commit suicide for a set time period. Usually the next day when you will be seeing them again...if possible. In this contract is also a safety plan. If the person feels suicidal before the next time you all meet up or talk on the phone, they need to have a contact in place. This could be you. Another contact should be in place just in case you're not available, so a hotline could be one. Then you ensure that they repeat or write out this contract with you.

Finally...pray with them....prayer is so powerful. At times we underestimate or even forget what a simple prayer can do.

Hope this helps.

Blessings

Hey Everyone,

Allow me to give you an FYI....if you confide in me and tell me that you were going to kill yourself and that I should not tell anyone.  I promise you this....I am going to tell!!!!

So if you really want to die, maybe I am not the person to tell.

No, it is not about me praying and asking God to lead me, I believe God has given me wisdom and if my friend wants to end his or her life.....that is not a secret I am keeping. No, I won't go telling every Tom, Richard or Harry, but I will find someone who is a professional, who can help my friend.

I may pray and ask God to help me say the right thing to my friend, but if my friend has a made up mind.....then she or he is going to do whatever he or she wants.  God will not make us do anything, He gives us choices.  So even though I may find the right words to say to that friend.....I can't make that friend adhere to my reasoning.

So does that make me a bad friend?

Well, so let it be.

Marce

Well, I am not always lead by the spirit, I do not hear from God every minute of the day, so just in case my friend tells me such a secret and I am not lead by God to saythe right thing, I am telling aperson who can help my friend.  That is not a secret I am keeping!!!

So you all have been warned!

I am done for now on this, I will let others give their thoughts.

I will let others give their thoughts on this one, because you and I will not agree, however we can agree to disagree.  Right?

You answered the question from a spiritual point of view.  The question was if a friend told you a secret would you tell.  What if these 2 friends aren't saved, what? How can they depend on the Holy Sprit when it does not dwell in them?

And if a friend told you a secret and that day you YOLANDA aren't being led by the Spirit, then what....you keep it to yourself and watch your friend die..or you just know you'll have the right words to say....

Yes, we should always be at the place where we are, but let's be honest, are we always?  Let's think of the times we sin,were we led by the Spirit at that time.  So I am just being realistic here.....

Well, here's my 2 lil' cents:

If my friend confided a secret in me of something tragic (and I am spiritual-minded), then yes, the Holy Ghost puts on its discerning ways and pours out love, compassion and God's great gift of repentence and life.  If I feel I am somewhere close to a depressive state or on a level lower than my friend, then hey, the blind is leading the blind.  But, never would that be the time to abandon that friend.  Something is wrong and I can't do a thing, but she's my friend and I won't leave her.

..........

During my time of falling, of failure, of depression, of lonliness, I cried out to my friends.  Though I know the Word, I forgot how to cry out to God.  There are nights that I've cried so bad that I could not breath and thought I would die in my sleep.  (I have athletic-induced asthma, so crying because of the 'straw' can cause it to flare)  One particular instance, I text-messaged three friend I knew to be strong.  It simply said, "I am so unhappy."  One called right away.  The others the next day.  Mind you, I thought I would not wake up, but I did not tell my friend this.  What I needed to hear was help for my situation.  Instead of falling she said, you're gonna stand; you're strong.  Instead of failure, you're gonna make it; you're so successful.  Instead of depression, she reminded me of joy.  And instead of lonliness, she said, you are not alone.  Then, she said Jesus!  Oh, what a key to my problem!  To hear 'Jesus loves you this I know,' had a brand new meaning. 

"...thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes." Matthew 11:25

Something so complex yet our issues can be solved with something so simple.  The answer to lifes problems is answerd by none other.  No man, woman, item or vanity can do it.  Only Jesus Christ!

Justme,

I think the way to deal with a friend is to be a friend.  Be honest, especially if she trusts that you are always honest with her.  Consider yourself, because no one is exempt from falling.  (This will keep you from being 'Holier than thou' and from being cold-hearted.)  And let her know that what she does effects you, those in her vicinity, and vice versa; it's like a stone dropped in a pond: the ripple effect.  God strategically placed you in her life "for such a time as this." Esther 4:14  You will not steer her wrong.  A lot of times friends need friends to be the voice of reason.  Be that for her.  When I fell, my mind was "very" cloudy.  I cried out to family (immediate and church) and they could not help me.  But when I cried out to my friends, they pointed-out the obvious: first, sin.  Then the washing, saving, forgiving power of the blood of Christ.  Help her keep her mind on track.  Tell her, don't ask her what she thinks she should do.  Her mind is not right.  And lastly, help her heal.  She needs you.  Who else will help her through the decision she makes? 

This is not an easy task, by any means Justme.  But like Yolanda said, and what Esther had to do, fast and seek God for guidance.  No one has the right answer, but God.

Justme:

To answer your question. When led by the spirit of God, he will direct your steps and the words of your mouth.  "LET THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH THE MEDITATION OF MY HEART BE ACCEPTABLE IN THY SIGHT O LORD MY STRENGTH AND MY REDEEMER." 

That's what I am saying.  Speak to yourself and say "Lord give me a word".  IT is something you have to get down on your knees and snot and cry and groan. That is what led by the spirit means.

My friend told me a secret that is not acceptable in my book or God's book.  Keeping the secret is not the problem; however, how do I express my feelings about this "secret" without coming across as "holier than thou"?  Keep in mind that my friend knows the word.   

OK, let me answer this according to the question that was originally given. Not sure how the discussion got into suicide. The question you asked Just me is how do you express your feeligns about this secret without coming across as holier than thou"? Simply you do just that express your feelings. If a friend of mine is doing something that is unacceptable in my book or God's, I will just state it plain. What you are doing right now I don't agree with it, and we both know that God is not please with it. However I still love you, I will not leave you, and I will pray for and with you. Now the fact that this friend knows the word of God, I can do two things remind her or him of the word, or just pray that the word that is already in him or her will convict her or him to do the right thing. In the case of the being pregnant with the Pastor's baby, and she is considering abortion. Again I would tell my friend you and the Pastor are wrong, and I don't agree with abortion, but again. I will let my friend know that I still love her, and I won't agree with the abortion or the relationship, I will tell her what the word saids, and then say choose what you will do. We can't tell someone what to do, they have to make choices for themselves, it's their life. God has given us free will to choose. If my friend chooses to have an abortion, no matter how I disapprove, that's her choice. Afterwards I would work with her to be restored, and to be healed, and reconciled unto God. I would help her to learn from this mistake that she does not repeat it. I would show her love, mercy and compassion, because that's what Christ would do.

I know that sometimes the saints want to crucify other believers who fall. But we all have fallen short of the glory of God. None of us are blameless, and so if my friend has fallen, I got a responsbility as her friend, and as her sister in Christ, to help restore her, help build her back up, help take her to the throne of grace, that we together might seek the face and wisdom of God. I wouldn't leave my friend. I would be honest with my feelings, I would remind her of the word, and I would pray with her. Should I be telling her sercret to anyone else? absolutely not, that's not your secret to tell. If she wants others to know that's her decision to make. So for the others who could be hurt and impacted by this secret, it's not my responsibility to go and inform those individuals what is going on. My responsibility is to my friend, and she can decide how she wants to handle the rest.

That's me.

Be blessed,

Petra

@Petra and maybe Debbs.

The suicide part came in, in Just Me's response to my post.....this is what she wrote:

 I do not think this is a simple one at all.  This secret involves more than just this individual.  Folks might get hurt with what might be going on.  Let me ask a "what if", what if you knew that your friend, (I'm using the word friend loosely here) told you that they wanted to die?  You know that your friend would not say this unless he/she meant it.  How do you go about helping this friend?  How do you take this secret to that might be of some help? 

So from there, it went from just a secret to keep decision to a suicide secret to keep decision.

I would tell her what the Word of God says. I would try and help my friend see sense as much as possible and try and make her feel valued and treasure by me, God and others. I would ask others to pray with me for my friend. I would tell those I've asked to pray with me that I have a friend who is contemplating taking her life. Its not a secret I could keep. Suppose I keep it and she kills herself. I would feel guilty that I didn't do more nor tell someone of her problem. If she did kill herself and I then told people that she told me she was going to do it, they would say why didn't you tell me or tell so-and-so. Also what would God say to me if I kept that secret and she killed herself?