phunchurchgirl
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| | April 04, 2009 at 07:51 PM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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LM#O,DARLING HOW ARE U IM JOE I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR ADD I LOVE IT U SOUND LIKE A WONDER INTERESTING WOMAN ID BE HONORED IF U WOULD CONSIDER US BECOMING FRIENDS AND HOPING PERHAPS SOMETHING MIGHT COME FROM IT BUT IF NOT THEN I GUESS THE BEST OF LUCK FOR US BOTH HUH LOL IM IN KATY ALL THE TIME BUT I LIVE OFF 249 AND SPRING-CYPRESS WHICH ISNT THAT FAR AT ALL OH IM SORRY MY NAME IS JOE HOW ABOUT U GIVE ME A CALL AND LETS TALK A BIT AND SEE WERE ITS GOES FROM THERE OK BYE BYE I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL .........JOE 832-xxx-xxxx
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I just copied the above email which was a response to a singles advertisement I placed. Recently a friend of mind told me that he read comments on a Christian dating site that it was too difficult to get to know me.
Maybe I am difficult but is it too much to ask that someone turn off the caps, know how to spell and find punctuation marks? Plus the phone number right in the begining is always off-putting for me but hey he laughs a lot so that's a good start right?
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MinisterSolomon
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| | April 05, 2009 at 12:45 AM | Reply with quote | #2 |
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How many other ladies has he given his number?
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ladyfee
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| | April 05, 2009 at 06:20 AM | Reply with quote | #3 |
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@Phun,
Lololololololol. I dont think you are being too picky, i dont even think you are being picky at all, but i am sureeeeeeeeeeeeee others would beg to differ...
I believe we all know what we like, for me, being able to spell and form a sentence is high on my list....
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Lonups
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| | April 05, 2009 at 01:12 PM | Reply with quote | #4 |
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Ladies...especially is using fine grammar important WHEN ONE IS TRYING TO IMPRESS. This 'joker' should definitely be 'on top of his game' when responding. His main endeavor at this point should be to make the FINEST IMPRESSION imaginable!
So, if he cannot find the resources to even put together an accurate written response...JUST HOW MUCH EFFORT WILL HE EXPEND, OR HOW RESOURCEFUL WILL HE BE WHEN IT COMES TO PUTTING FORTH EFFORT IN A RELATIONSHIP???
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phunchurchgirl
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| | April 05, 2009 at 02:14 PM | Reply with quote | #5 |
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Upsie do you think it's effort or just ignorance? I more looked at it as he thought about responding for ages then tried to be himself however himself doesn't know how to spell or where to place periods. Chances are he hasn't written anything, more than a casual email, since high school and even then probably didn't do too well. Chances are this person won't offer much variety in conversation other than "what did you watch on TV today" to "what are you wearing". I know this is a bad assumption to make, especially from one who dropped out of high school herself, but then again I'm the exception to many rules.
Oddly enough though I usually overlook when people abbreviate but now that you've mentioned effort and how it will relate to a relationship, I'm going scrutinize those even more now, thanks.
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Lonups
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| | April 05, 2009 at 03:12 PM | Reply with quote | #6 |
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Phunch... Actually, I may have been a tad harsh.
My first reaction showed that I think the man should have written a more appropriate response, even if not being a finer writer himself. That's why I mentioned in the original response that I think he could have been more RESOURCEFUL. I was thinking that he could have even asked a buddy to help him with the letter! I mean, it would have shown resourcefulness.
I stated that I may have been harsh. Well, here's why. Perhaps the brother who responded would rather that you see the REAL him! Maybe he is thinking "Sure, I could have found a buddy to help me put together a grammatically correct letter. But, it would only be a matter of time before my shortcoming is brought to the fore, anyway".
Do you see what I'm saying, Phunch? It could be that the man has decided to be upfront, right from jump! There is a lot to be said for a man who is bold enough to think that way (if that is indeed the case here).
I would like to reserve judgement in this one...at least for now.
I would caution you, though, to consider that perhaps the response he offered was his ABSOLUTE BEST! If that's the case, are his skills marketable in today's society? That is something that would deserve considerable attention, in my opinion.
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ladyfee
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| | April 05, 2009 at 03:36 PM | Reply with quote | #7 |
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@Lon,
"Oh Dad", Fee whines....
lololol
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phunchurchgirl
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| | April 05, 2009 at 03:37 PM | Reply with quote | #8 |
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Aww Upsie you didn't have to go all deep on a sista. I totally understood your initial reaction and it wasn't wrong just different from mine
The thing is Ups, you can't reserve judgement on this. You can't wait to get more information on this person because I don't have more info and I don't have more time. This is the email I received and am forced to make judgement right away. I don't get more info, I don't get to ask more questions, all I get is what he put out there. I'm not being asked to wait and see how things pan out, I'm supposed to just call based on what was provided.
I do agree with you that this is probably his best which is exactly my point. It's said that I'm hard to get to know but when this is the type of responses I get, is there no wonder?
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Lonups
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| | April 05, 2009 at 08:37 PM | Reply with quote | #9 |
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Phunch... The reason I decided to backtrack a little on my first response is that I do not want to, in any way, prevent something that could be mutually beneficial. It is easy for me to sit here and write my thoughts. But, when the lives are 2 people are involved, the one offering his opinion (me) should proceed cautiously.
You can get more info when you call and speak to this gentleman, can you not?
I will not offer the thoughts deep inside my gut for the reasons mentioned in my opening paragraph here.
Butttt, if you were my daughter...
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phunchurchgirl
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| | April 05, 2009 at 10:06 PM | Reply with quote | #10 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by Lonups
Butttt, if you were my daughter...
I don't like when people give me different advice than what they'd give their relatives. It's like saying since you don't care as much about me then you don't really care what I do.
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Lonups
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| | April 05, 2009 at 11:02 PM | Reply with quote | #11 |
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Phunch... I will do some math on yo head, youngin'. I know what you are saying here. Haha...
It's not that I am giving you different advice than I would my daughter. It is that I am NOT GIVING YOU ANY ADVICE.
I'm holding back because if my counsel is in eror, I could somehow be responsible for unnecessary grief in your life. And, that would just eat me up inside.
If you were my daughter, things would be completely different. You see, with my daughter, I would be responsible for her. So, it would be part of my God-given responsibility and right to assist her in a decision such as the one you now face. For a father to remain silent when his l'il girl needs him in a situation like this would be negligence on his part. Again, the dad is rightfully responsible to help his child make what he thinks is the p[roper decision.
If we were having this particular discussion in the mont of December, then maybe Mrs. Lon and I could have tried to adopt you. I mention December because in that case, we could have gotten a tax break for the year. But, it's too late for that.
So...go for what you know, Phunch.
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mechimom
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| | April 07, 2009 at 08:33 AM | Reply with quote | #12 |
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Lon you are craaaaaaaaaaazy funny....just give her the advice that you would give your daughter and stop playing. Just act as if she is your daughter....GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!
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ladyfee
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| | April 07, 2009 at 08:41 AM | Reply with quote | #13 |
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@MM,
Lolololololol
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Lonups
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| | April 07, 2009 at 08:52 AM | Reply with quote | #14 |
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OK...OK... I would advise my Whit to lose this guy.
I don't see much that the two of them might have in common (meaning Phunch and Mr. "I-can't-even-put-together-a-complete-sentence-correctly").
Can you imagine the dinnertime chat? Gimme a break!
And..that's just for starters why I say "NO". There are other reasons. But, this 1 is enuf. Oops...that would be "enough"!
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KaiyaTee
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| | April 13, 2009 at 11:51 AM | Reply with quote | #15 |
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if someone give me his number so quickly i am often turned off. if you call him without blocking your number he may start calling you lol and you may not even like him. POTENTIAL STALKER lolol
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Rosemary
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| | May 26, 2009 at 06:11 PM | Reply with quote | #16 |
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I'm gonna throw a spanner in the works here. Suppose this guy is a good guy but has left school early, (cos he was a little bad bwoy) but he's not bad any more...?
What if his email was so...errrm, like it was, because he was desparate for a response and nervous too...?
Or..... maybe English is not his first language. On the other hand, you can get someone who can write well, caps in the right places, if any at all, have a good education, degree even a doctorate but not know how to treat a woman or treats her badly because he is selfish, too full of himself or for whatever reason. Jamaicans say dreams don't walk straight - ie. when you dream something, it means the opposite. This could be the case with some people who put out a certain image but are the opposite. So Mr Caps could have a great heart and treat a woman right, whereas a man who's writing is the opposite to Mr Caps might just be the man not to get involved with. |
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ladyfee
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| | May 26, 2009 at 08:43 PM | Reply with quote | #17 |
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@Rosemary,
Umnn, hMNNNN
be back...lol
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Lonups
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| | May 26, 2009 at 09:21 PM | Reply with quote | #18 |
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Rosemary... I already attempted to do what ypu are trying now--to COP OUT!
Well, they ain't buying it. Mech, you would not let me take the "safe" road here. So Rose, what are you suggesting in this case?
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Rosemary
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| | May 29, 2009 at 09:37 AM | Reply with quote | #19 |
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Hi Lonups, its Rosemary, not Rose first of all. 
So I suggest seek God on it. He will give the right answer, God don't make mistakes. Whereas we do, that's why we gotta seek Him.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matt 6:33
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Prov 3:5
I sought God about the man that I would share my life with before I even met him. I'd put it totally in His hands and due to the prayer I prayed and the circumstances that led to us meeting I knew it was God that brought my husband and I together.
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Lonups
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| | May 29, 2009 at 04:59 PM | Reply with quote | #20 |
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Rosemary... Don't get uptight about your name, lady! When my fingers get tired, why can't I refer to you as "Rose"? Folks call me "Lon", folks call Synergynx "Syn...", etc.
Many of us take liberties with how we address the other. Next time I address you, you may be designated simply be "R".
If you are really serious about this, I will of course call you "Rosemary". However, in that case, I believe you could have been a bit more tactful in expressing your desire.
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 05:09 PM | Reply with quote | #21 |
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@Yawl,
You know i think we critique things like the guys grammar or the way he writes etc because at the end of the day - we are not feeling him....
If i met a guy in person and ive never read anything that he wrote.....but he talks okay...and we had dinner, he came to church and somehow we start something.....and then he starts emailing me and all his words are spelled incorrectly......
Would i dump him? I doubt it, i really hope that i wouldnt.
But if when i met him it was via email, and his spelling is a mess....then i have to go by what i see....you like what you like...
So at the end of the day TO ME, its all about whether you really like the person or not.
Its like would you marry someone who had one hand? The average person wouldnt say yes...but if your current spouse should lose a hand, would you divorce him...i would hope not.
Okay how far off yawl think i am with this way of thinking?
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Lonups
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| | May 29, 2009 at 05:31 PM | Reply with quote | #22 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by ladyfee
@Yawl,
You know i think we critique things like the guys grammar or the way he writes etc because at the end of the day - we are not feeling him....
Fee... The reason I see it as I stated it is because at this point, this is the ONLY way we have to make a judgement call. That is to say, all that we have is his written message.
If i met a guy in person and ive never read anything that he wrote.....but he talks okay...and we had dinner, he came to church and somehow we start something.....and then he starts emailing me and all his words are spelled incorrectly......
Would i dump him? I doubt it, i really hope that i wouldnt.
I am with you, here, Fee. I am not saying we should 'dump' people because they do not use fine sentence structure. Nor am I saying that we should automatically dismiss a suitor for that same reason. Shoot, my moms only completed about 6th grade. Her daddy thought it best that she stay home from school to work. He also did not like the idea that boys would try to talk to my mother. She was absolutely gorgeous!!!
I am saying since Phunch states that she has to decide on whether to see this guy or not SOLELY by what he wrote (and the manner in which he wrote), well, I would proceed with utmost caution.
But if when i met him it was via email, and his spelling is a mess....then i have to go by what i see....you like what you like...
So at the end of the day TO ME, its all about whether you really like the person or not.
I agree with you, Lady. However, I hinted at the fact that Phunch is an intellectual. This man is certainly not. That is something to be considered. Will they have a lot in common?
I think more is needed to form an opinion than just that letter he sent.
Its like would you marry someone who had one hand? The average person wouldnt say yes...but if your current spouse should lose a hand, would you divorce him...i would hope not.
I love a fine illustration to substantiate a point. This is an excellent illustration to help us see your point!
Okay how far off yawl think i am with this way of thinking?
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 05:48 PM | Reply with quote | #23 |
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@Lon,
Thanks for the detailed response....
I liked your thoughts, just wanted to add, my response was not in response to what you wrote per se, i was just sharing my thoughts on the original subject....i hope that makes sense.
Okay i wanted to address something you wrote just now tho...re hun being an intellectual and this guy based on what you saw isnt....
Heres a question:Can an intellectual -- have jacked up spelling...lol
Im howling cos id be in shock if you, Syn, Carol or Phun had jacked up grammar, you guys are so smart and such awesome thinkers...what if yawl posted a deep message that is accurate, true, wowing...but the spelling was all jacked up.....
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Lonups
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| | May 29, 2009 at 06:19 PM | Reply with quote | #24 |
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Well, Fee... Thanks for the compliment.
Can an intellectual have 'jacked-up' spelling? I do not think so! I mean, she/he may make mistakes in writing. But, 'jacked-up', I dont know!!!
I am NOT saying that all great thinkers are fine writers. I wrote about my momma before. I need to tell y'all the second half of the story. It involves my daddy.
While moms finished the 6th grade (perhaps), good old dad only made it to the SECOND GRADE! For example, I have commented before about his fascination with my "ability" to know how to find a particular word in a book (dictionary) when that same book contains "so many words". He was about 45 years old when I taught him to write HIS OWN NAME in cursive. Up until that time, he signed using an "X"!!!
Was my dad an intellect? NOT BY ANY STRETCH! Was he a thinker...a "smart" man? HECK YEAH! Pops compensated for his lack of schooling by nearly excelling in other areas. Too bad those "other areas" were less-than-noble!
My point: a person's not being able to write intelligibly does not mean that he is dumb. It DOES means that at least, he may be a slow learner. Or, perhaps he was denied the opportunity to learn, as in the case of my mom. The thing is...what will an acheiver and an underacheiver have in common? Can they make it a success? SURE THEY CAN! But, is the acheiver ready to put forth the EXTRA EFFORT that most likely will be required?
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 06:46 PM | Reply with quote | #25 |
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@Lon,
I love your parents.
On another note you wrote:
Can an intellectual have 'jacked-up' spelling? I do not think so! I mean, she/he may make mistakes in writing. But, 'jacked-up', I dont know!!!
My question is.....
This is what the guy wrote:
DARLING HOW ARE U IM JOE I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR ADD I LOVE IT U SOUND LIKE A WONDER INTERESTING WOMAN ID BE HONORED IF U WOULD CONSIDER US BECOMING FRIENDS AND HOPING PERHAPS SOMETHING MIGHT COME FROM IT BUT IF NOT THEN I GUESS THE BEST OF LUCK FOR US BOTH HUH LOL IM IN KATY ALL THE TIME BUT I LIVE OFF 249 AND SPRING-CYPRESS WHICH ISNT THAT FAR AT ALL OH IM SORRY MY NAME IS JOE HOW ABOUT U GIVE ME A CALL AND LETS TALK A BIT AND SEE WERE ITS GOES FROM THERE OK BYE BYE I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL .........JOE 832-xxx-xxxx
Basically he did not use punctuations, and he had 2 mispelled words......
Is this enough to say he isnt intellectual?
ANd im NOT saying that you LON were saying the guy isnt?
I think its possible for a guy to be very intellectual, intelligent etc and dont know how to spell....well dont know how to spell a lot of words...
Im stil picturing you guys posting a post that has a bunch of mispelled words.....im wondering what my thoughts would be...
Do a test Lon....post something (in another thread) thats deep with a lot of mispelled words.
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phunchurchgirl
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| | May 29, 2009 at 06:49 PM | Reply with quote | #26 |
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You know the funny thing in all of this is that I dropped out of high school. Intellectual ? Who me? LOL OK I'll take it cuz it sounds like I is smarted.
I think Lon hit the nail on the head when he mentioned that I only have this to go by. He could very well be a good guy who dropped out of school like I did, just like he could be a guy who has several degrees but no clue. In any case, all I have is this note. We're supposed to put our best foot forward and this is him showing me his best - his best approach as well as his best spelling. This is his first impression and perhaps all the 'what ifs' could apply to him but he doesn't get a second chance because of this note. And let's not even bring up the part that KaiyaTee mentioned about throwing his number out there too early.
@ Rosemary - spanner LOL I can tell you're British boy. I don't think this is about whether or not this guy is a good guy though. I think it's about of all the men in the world that I can end up with, sadly this is what I have to choose from. I doubt Barak Obama spells like this and while I know he's taken, would it be so wrong to want a man in that standing?
I'm not talking money or education (again I don't have much of one) but about the style of man it is. One who I wouldn't have to spell check a note he was writing to our child's school. Call me greedy but I don't think I'm asking for too much.
@ Fiona - I think an intellectual can indeed have bad spelling. I've met a ton of Africans who know several languages but they can't spell English. Now because I was always a fan of English class and the language and love to see when it's used properly. Now if I were French I'm sure I'd go crazy over idioms and how someone conjugated a verb.
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 06:53 PM | Reply with quote | #27 |
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@Phun,
Call me Fiona one more time and i'll .....
Lolol
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Lonups
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| | May 29, 2009 at 07:24 PM | Reply with quote | #28 |
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Fee wrote:
Basically he did not use punctuations, and he had 2 mispelled words......
Is this enough to say he isnt intellectual?
Fee...there is not much more to writing than spelling and punctuation! So, what you are basically saying is that this guy BLEW IT!
This dude is not an intellect. Nor does he necessarily have to be. Just KNOW WHAT POTENTIALLY LIES AHEAD!
Fee, i lik yo ideal about righting on a depp mater wile using poor centince struckur and stuff i think I willdo that!
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 07:28 PM | Reply with quote | #29 |
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@Lon,
Say no more you have brilliantly made your point!!!!!!1
Whew, why do i say this...because i was seriously reading what you wrote and like ok, umnumn, then i literally went what in the w...whaaaaaaa...when i read the last line...i mean my whole demeanor changed......then i holwed because i realized what you were doing...
Kudos old man.
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phunchurchgirl
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| | May 29, 2009 at 07:30 PM | Reply with quote | #30 |
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Sorry, Fee
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Lonups
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| | May 29, 2009 at 07:32 PM | Reply with quote | #31 |
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Yeah, how we present ourselves when writing is important ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT PIECE OF COMMUNICATION SERVES AS AN INTRODUCTION. Add to that that this is his attempt to impress (as previously stated), and that it is his way of meeting his future "significant other"! |
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phunchurchgirl
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| | May 29, 2009 at 07:58 PM | Reply with quote | #32 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by ladyfee
(SNIP)
My question is.....
This is what the guy wrote:
DARLING HOW ARE U IM JOE I JUST FINISHED READING YOUR ADD I LOVE IT U SOUND LIKE A WONDER INTERESTING WOMAN ID BE HONORED IF U WOULD CONSIDER US BECOMING FRIENDS AND HOPING PERHAPS SOMETHING MIGHT COME FROM IT BUT IF NOT THEN I GUESS THE BEST OF LUCK FOR US BOTH HUH LOL IM IN KATY ALL THE TIME BUT I LIVE OFF 249 AND SPRING-CYPRESS WHICH ISNT THAT FAR AT ALL OH IM SORRY MY NAME IS JOE HOW ABOUT U GIVE ME A CALL AND LETS TALK A BIT AND SEE WERE ITS GOES FROM THERE OK BYE BYE I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR CALL .........JOE 832-xxx-xxxx
Basically he did not use punctuations, and he had 2 mispelled words......
(SNIP)
I still don't think the point is the amount of words his misspelled or the lack or punctuation or the all caps or calling me darling or giving me his number in the initial response. I think it's the whole thing making a bad first impression. And it doesn't make the same impression to everyone just not the sort of guy that suits me. But since it's only two, my dear BF, then let me know if you need the missing digits.
Quote: Originally Posted by Lonups
(SNIP) I need to tell y'all the second half of the story. It involves my daddy.
While moms finished the 6th grade (perhaps), good old dad only made it to the SECOND GRADE! For example, I have commented before about his fascination with my "ability" to know how to find a particular word in a book (dictionary) when that same book contains "so many words". (SNIP)
OMG SOrry to laugh Upsington but this cracked me up.
I don't think either of my grandparents were intellectuals by any stretch but like your dad, they were master craftsmen. Both were shoemakers and both could tell you the every detail of a pair of shoes starting with the calf that they came from.
Quote: Originally Posted by Lonups
(SNIP)Fee, i lik yo ideal about righting on a depp mater wile using poor centince struckur and stuff i think I willdo that!
 I know that the lady who tells people to turn off their cap locks would not tolerate too many posts like this
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ladyfee
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| | May 29, 2009 at 08:06 PM | Reply with quote | #33 |
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@Phun,
Shaddap.....
But for the record, how many misspelled words did you come up with?
If you say 3 then...ok..if you found more than 3 then ill take his number....lol
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phunchurchgirl
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| | May 29, 2009 at 08:10 PM | Reply with quote | #34 |
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Quote: Originally Posted by ladyfee
@Phun,
Shaddap.....
But for the record, how many misspelled words did you come up with?
If you say 3 then...ok..if you found more than 3 then ill take his number....lol
ADD
WONDER
WERE
ITS
832.555.1212
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ladyfee
Founder and CEO!
Registered: Sept 05, 2006
Posts: 4,131
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| | May 29, 2009 at 08:22 PM | Reply with quote | #35 |
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@Phun,
lol, u stupe, i saw all of those....i did not count U as a mispelled word. I did not count "wonder" as a mispelled word, i thought the dude was in awe....like, you are a wonder to me...lol....now im asking what word do you think he was trying to say? I got where, but its come on ...U R BEING PICKY HERE...RE: SUBJECT LINE
Im on the phone with him now....he asking were you is? lol
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"Inspire to aspire before you expire" |
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phunchurchgirl
DEBBS
Registered: Sept 16, 2006
Posts: 1,109
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| | May 29, 2009 at 08:31 PM | Reply with quote | #36 |
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Here I is 
I think he meant wonderful instead of wonder but yeah I get why he'd be in awe.
I knew you wouldn't count 'were' because I know it's one of the ones you struggle with
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"Sorrow looks back.....worry looks around, but FAITH looks up"
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ladyfee
Founder and CEO!
Registered: Sept 05, 2006
Posts: 4,131
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| | May 29, 2009 at 08:35 PM | Reply with quote | #37 |
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@Phun,
You misread what i wrote due to my lack of punctuations.
I did get where, im saying oh come on when you count ITS.
WERE and WHERE is not a problem for me.....were and was or have and has and there and their and do and does and is and are...i struggle with those always....
But im not counting ITS....
__________________
"Inspire to aspire before you expire" |
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